like the IMU...

I'm having one of those "life moments". The ones were you realize that THIS is your life and you should think about what in the world you are really doing with yourself. Or maybe you realize that what you're doing is...well...actually fine. It's more than writing about it in fluffy language about "growing and yada-yada-yada". I admit, I do this a lot. I'm often very dramatic and such when I think I'm having an epiphany and "figuring it out".**My first moment like this was in Iowa City in the IMU. After graduating I was in denial of the "now-what-am-I-supposed-to-do" thing. I fought it. I fought it hard. I did everything I could. I even maintained several of my college activities, including a radio show. One day after the show, I was walking through the IMU and realized that they were finishing the construction they started my first year at Iowa.!!! Holy crap...what am I doing here? I need to figure this out...!!!!!!!!!!Ultimately, it took a year to figure anything out. I stayed in Iowa City and did a bunch of random things; including a lot of community theatre, singing in a jazz band, lots of art, and I got jazzed about the environment (sorry for being too soap-boxy). Also, I didn't have a job. I'd give plasma and work any odd job I could find.I was the queen of finding odd jobs and giving them to my friends. (you're all very welcome for the time at the farm - flying insect killer, creeping charlie, raspberry bushes, Big Blue, baby chickens, weird Asian trinkets, and all)...Fast forward three years and I'm in charge of many different things. One of the things I'm working on is finding some volunteers for a paid event. This is something I would have jumped on like crazy and passed it onto my other "artsy-non-working" friends.The thing is. (yes ht, there's a thing...)Most of my friends/you are working now.We all have jobs.Some are married.Some have children.THIS FREAKS ME OUT.I've known these things for awhile. I talk about love and weddings all of the time. I've seen adorable babies and seen my friends' families grow. I know the years are passing faster and faster.but for whatever reason, tonight as I was sifting through my contacts for some people for this event, I realized my circle of friends has gotten smaller - which is mostly because I've made it this way - and my circle of friends in need of paid volunteering is even smaller.which means nothing in particular. except that we're all growing. and changing. or something. much like that time at the IMU, i'm not sure what it means. but i think that's okay...and maybe, that's the point.**