almost five years...

i've been in new york for nearly five years. it's hard to believe. even after all of this time, i still have those moments of "i live in new york..." that moment often warrants an exclamation mark (or several!!!!) because it makes my heart race just a tiny bit and i experience something almost like time travel - i'll flash back and forth between my childhood home, to days with the college girls, to the wreath with cat vomit that made hayden and i friends (and how that friendship has changed me), to packing up that car and just driving east, to this city which i really knew nothing about. i had no idea how that move would change my life. how much i would grow. how i would mend in the best possible way from a broken heart and learn that time really does heal all. how i would explore the all of the parts of myself and how the lesson of self-love would be the most challenging (and important) lesson to date.i don't remember the exact day i moved here, but i do remember that feeling.time is passing and moving. seasons shift. i still love flowers and leaves and sky and furry little animals make my stop and say hello. these things will never change. but other things will. i'll become less of this and a little more of that -- what those things are, i'm not even sure -- but i just know that change is happening.five years ago, i would have hated this thought. and while i don't welcome it with open arms - just yet - i do acknowledge it. because i see that change is okay and that we have choice.i have no idea what the next five years will bring - let alone the next five months. as long as i continue to live each day with love and compassion, for myself and others, i'll be alright. i don't have to figure everything out rightthisminute (even though sometimes i wish i could). there are still so many adventures to be had, places to explore.and there will always be furry animals to make me smile.