//

I've never been good with goodbyes, but we had a great send off for our dear friends with delicious Mexican food and shuffleboard (both of these places: Just Go. Yum and Fun!). It will be wonderful to visit them in the sunshine state in the colder months. Other miscellany includes impromptu date nights with square ice cubes on rooftops, finding juices on the Highline, and soaking up the last of September days.

**not pictured: Sitting next to Joseph Gordon-Levitt at the amazing planetarium show. (We did not bother him, but secretly I thought it was cool! hehe)

// Gum-balls in Queens (how I wish I could jump in there!), a walk on the Williamsburg Bridge, lawn ornaments by my house, awesome office friends [seriously, I love these guys], trying to get across town on Halloween (it was hell, but those kids in the townhouse were so funny), and some flora and fauna of the fall. Fall was fun, but I'm glad that tomorrow marks the shortest day of the year because THAT means the days will start getting longer. One microsecond at a time. ♥

//

Change doesn't always happen overnight, it happens in small little circles and a shit ton of "back and forths". We have to remember patience and allow enough  s p a c e   to look honestly at patterns and then figure out what to do with them - if anything. I believe growth comes from recognizing patterns and finding ways to talk about them. Making sure the words coming out of someone's mouth are actually translated properly in the mind. For they are too easily distorted.

Lately, I've found it too difficult to actually BE with myself and whatever's coming up. I've felt disconnected from my body, as if I'm watching the experiences as a shadow. That's not to say I'm not enjoying things because I have had a freaking blast at this month's events (apparently, November was the month for all of my friends to throw parties), but there has been some blue lurking around. Actually, it's more of dull gray. I haven't painted in a few months and can't seem to find it in me to try. I'm too afraid that the paintings will look the same as others I've done, too many swirls and glitter. The inner voice reminding me to just paint is hard to find, it's too lost in a tangle of a bunch of crap.

It's always good to escape the city. To get away from the clusters of crowds, the hurried motion, and immerse yourself into a place where you feel a little more steadied. To feel inspired. I felt better the moment I got off the train in Coldspring. And the woods were filled with little bits of magic everywhere. Tree houses for fairies, a blanket of fallen leaves, and everything was golden. As the sun set, it burned so brightly on along another mountain. It looked electric. I've always felt held in these mountains, protected in a way.

Looking at the photos I am still inspired. When the time is right, I hope to try and capture some of the magic on canvas. Until then, here are my blurry photos (it was quite chilly!).

full set and trail info

These are the days of fall.

These photos are quite old, but they were too pretty to not post! It's funny what you find when having to make space on your machine!

*source* {isn't it charming!}

This life...Is fleeting like a butterfly.Last night I realized how lucky I am. This life I have is really full. And even though there are times I am lonely, I know that they fade. Everything changes, even those dark moments. But walking home from yoga I realized how free I am. I have no real responsibilities other than the goals I want for myself. Right now those are excelling at work and creating art. And lately music too. Maybe one of these days I'll actually learn a language, to knit, and be better at paying attention the news. But it's the little things that count, like listening to NPR on my walk to the train and buying old books on street corners.

Last night when showering, I realized how much I would miss not living with Hayden someday and when he locks the cat in the bathroom with me (she likes this). I would miss that hole in the ceiling and laughing about the series of landlords named "Frank" we've had for the past few months.It made me realize that I don't need to rush out of this life because sooner than I probably realize, it too, will change.

Life is beautiful (despite the shorter days and the upcoming fall).

shewas somewhere in betweenwhat she really wanted versus what the world told her to want...it was a strange place to be...so,she explored honesty to help her sort through the different maybes.and,she found that change was the only constant.it isn't effortless.but it's worth the effort.

The air is cool and crisp. Leaves are turning and the sky is a bright blue - but different than the summer blue.Fall is here.This weekend, we went upstate and it was lovely!A friend lives in a cabin in Neversink. A small town that ended up sinking and is now below the water. Irony at its best.The cabin was perfect - a beautiful house in the woods. We were surrounded by nature, it was so quiet. The only thing you could hear was our laughter, stories, heart and soul on the piano, and the croaking of frogs through the night.Pretty moonlight...I went on an afternoon walk and took photos of bright red leaves, ants foraging for the winter, a delicate spider web, an enchanted looking gazebo, and many more nature treasures.Here comes the sun!Thanks for the wonderful hospitality and company! :)

*source* (lovely photos here!)

it's been 11 years
today
i'm alright
it's been 11 years
so hard to believe
be----lieve........live
life just keeps on going
it doesn't stop
even when it ends abruptly for others
11 years today
i was planning a balloon release or something
i wanted to mark the occasion
and even more that i understand
i get it now
i'm who i am because of her
i'm who i am because i've been alone
i understand my fears
i've been able to face them
fall is the hardest for me
it always hits me out of ..  ... ...nowhere
but this fall, i'm alright
despite all the change
some moments are reeling, turbulent..some moments are vivid, full of beauty...
i've
found
the
middle
1am
a1:r1gh1
***even today
11:11
11:11
make a wish

I recently curated my very first art show for the CCCP Gallery in the Satellite State Room.

Join us for the opening reception of the shows.Friday, October 2, 20097-9:00 pm

A bit about the shows

In the Satellite State Room:

"Release" Group Show

Life is turbulent. Ups and downs, moments of spinning. I've had a lot of this lately, but have found art to be wonderful way for me to release....I'd like to see how others have "released" through the turbulence of life.

October 2nd to November 1st

Kim Kullmer -Curator

"Release" Artists: Jennie Booth, Jane Hugentober, Lisa Inman, Kim Kullmer, Rebecca Sherman, Katie Steward, Matthew Van Alstine

Harvest of Dreams will be featured in the main gallery

"Harvest of Dreams 2009"

An eclectic multi medium group show -

Curator- J. A. Holt

Artists:Peter Dolack, Gilbert Giles, JM Theisen de Gonzalez, Christopher Pierro, Thomas Thomson, Erin Walworth, Stephen Woods

About C.C.C.P. Gallery

Featuring established, emergent and student artists working in various styles (Representational, Abstract, Surreal, etc-) and mediums (Painting, Printmaking, Photography, Sculpture, etc-)

Gallery hours: Fridays- 3 to 8 (ish) PM, Saturday + Sunday- Noon till 6 PM.