2021 was many things, but dare I say it, I think it was kind of magical.

For me, the most magical thing was really embracing “self-love” and sort of returning to a more free version of myself and out of that space, something new has started to emerge ~ more confidence, more art, more songs, more fun, more gratitude, patience, and so much love.

For awhile there, I think I was a bit lost from myself ~ too afraid to be my fullest self, lost in imposter syndrome, worried about perception, fear of doing it wrong, taking up too much “space”, and just being afraid, afraid, afraid. I’ve struggled with fear in the past, but the past few years have been extra challenging and it’s been everything to just show up, but I did and things have been shifting in really amazing ways.

Fear and perception are funny things, or just things, or something… because the truth is everyone has their “stuff”, their “things”, issues, fears, dreams and so, so many feelings. I have been talking about feelings as a “connection space” for a long time, but I have really started practicing this in a different way.

I think one of the biggest feelings I have been working with is discomfort. Learning to be in discomfort of a moment ~ especially moments of disconnection. Learning to stay, to lean in and b r e a t h e

I’ve realized how much I need stillness, but I have also realized that I like celebrating small things (and really, every day there are so many things to celebrate).

I’m learning to listen to myself more and learning about plants. Although, in listening, I am realizing that the plants have always guided me, supported me and just waited for me to better understand their inner whispers.

Nettles have taught me about boundaries, burdock grounds me and linden and marshmallow root keep my heart open and encourage me to sing. Butterfly pea flower reminds me that magic IS real (actually, I believe all of the plants are magical, but I do love that hue transition).

Working with the flock and the land continues to humble me and remind me of reciprocity.

I am grateful for my health, connections, friendships, work and so much more. It has been a healthy season and I am starting to see the still’s disease as a strange gift because it was one of the main things that forced me to tend to my own being first, which I think has allowed me to be better at being t(here) for others.

And yet, things are still strange and hard and most days I still feel a deep melancholy for the future of the world.

I was recently in the desert, sitting with the massive stones and an incredible agave plant. There was a heaviness that I can’t quite explain, but I kept coming back to presence and gratitude ~ that NO MATTER WHAT, that presence is a portal and that I can return over and over and over again and choose joy, love, and continue dreaming of an equitable and kind world and that truly, the only way for me to experience the world I long for, is by just being it myself (insert all the clichés ever, but they are true!)

I’m sure there will be stumbling and hard days ahead, but I know that they are all just part of my path.

And so I will carry on, believing in goodness, shining my light and hopefully encouraging others to do the same.

I hope you enjoy this holiday greeting for 2021 and that you enjoy all of our wishes for you! We wrote this song together because we started learning accordion. I told B to think of silly wishes and I stitched them together into a melody-of-sorts and we added many layers upon layers.

May this song bring you joy, smiles and encourage a little silliness.

Snowflakes and eggnog and chestnuts and mittens
These are some things of winter songs
Ribbons and fairy lights and critters in hats
These are some things of our songs

Cookies and days off and laughter with friends
Are some things we wish for you
Abundance and adventures and hopefully no dentures
At least any time soon

So cherish your time together
Cozy up and look at the trees
Or go play in the snow or the sparkling beach
And go home desert and tv

Wishing you all of the love. ♥

from us and our gaggle of critters (Frenzy, Chester, Pipa, and Kirk)

~

This is actually the 10th year I have been making these silly videos. The first time I ever made a video was actually as a way to cheer up my own broken heart forever ago. It’s (actually-probably-not-that) surprising how little and how much I have changed at the exact same time through all of these years. :)

Previous greetings: (please note these open to different tabs)
__
2020 ~ a holiday medley of “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” and “The Christmas Song”
2019 ~ ”Krimgle Brells” ~ a rendition of “Jingle Bells”
2018 ~ gratitude
2017 ~ A little reflection and some holiday wishes
2016 ~ this might make George Michael roll in his grave
2015 ~ have a holly jolly christmas
2014 ~ a sparkle partner christmas
2013 ~ nature’s glitter
2012 ~ yay christmas!
2009 ~ christmas with lavi

p.s. please forgive the many broken links in the past entries of my diary :)

we decorated the house in lights as a visual way to say that no matter what was brought on by 2020, it could not take away the sparkle. *:･ﾟ

here’s to happier things. ♥

We also did a full holiday-sparkle-sing-a-long. To view about 20 minutes of music, watch on my Instagram page. :)

Previous greetings:
”Krimgle Brells” ~ a rendition of “Jingle Bells”
gratitude
A little reflection and some holiday wishes
this might make George Michael roll in his grave
have a holly jolly christmas
a sparkle partner christmas
nature’s glitter
yay christmas!
christmas with lavi

Something like a caroling card. Wishing you all a wonderful holiday season! ♥

I am no stranger to impermanence and all of the feelings that "change" brings about, but there was something about 2018 that made me embrace the inevitability of this in a way that I never have before. The most challenging moments, ended up being the most beautiful teachings.

In September I started a letter to a friend that I didn't finish, I was writing it to calm my nerves while I was at the passport/immigration office getting my U.S. Citizenship! I recently opened to it and found the following...

But sometimes life can be so exhausting it's hard to pause and find the gentle way through, but maybe it's about surrendering to those hard moments, letting them wash over us and sinking into them. Somehow there we can find the gentle current that will pull us through. 

I think that's exactly what 2018 was about. Surrendering. Letting go. Trying to embody impermanence.

Every time I did this, instead of resisting the hard stuff, I would soften more. I could feel into the magic that is our interconnectedness. The love that really does exist and my heart would swell with gratitude. I became grateful for change itself.

Gratitude for the friend that is time passing. This made me more grateful for joyous moments, while they were happening. I would breathe a little deeper, feel a little more.

The learning is lifelong, but in this very moment, I am so grateful for my experience in this form. For growth, for the garden of friends, for silly songs, furry creatures, and all the beings. For all of the connections seen and unseen.

Happy holidays friends.
Wishing you all of the love.♥ 

Previous greetings:
A little reflection and some holiday wishes
this might make George Michael roll in his grave
have a holly jolly christmas
a sparkle partner christmas
nature’s glitter
yay christmas!
christmas with lavi

Wishing you all a wonderful holiday season! ♥

//

It has been quite the year. I haven't used this space for writing that much because I've spent more time handwriting in my journal (which was part of a manifesto that still guides me) and have been keeping more things to myself. Don't get me wrong, I still wear my heart on my sleeve (clearly - haha) and haven't lost my "art" of creating "awkward moments". In fact, the move to Troy was hard and all of my old "stuff" returned - lots of looping around and around again in self-doubt. Before moving, I had so. much. fear. of somehow returning to a version of myself that wouldn't be liked or that I would be too something. But I see now that even that version of me, the one that reaches and tries too hard and worries too much and seems overly eager, deserves love because we *all* have moments like this. It's being a human and it can be difficult to navigate the ocean of feelings, but I believe it's in this space (fear and feelings) that we are truly connected!

The fear I had leading up to it (the move) ended up being worse than the experience because Troy has been nothing short of wonderful. We've been welcomed into an amazing community of people (and animals!), I've poured my heart into my art and music, developed my own affinity for microbes, and Brendan's building is oh-so-close!

Despite the short-sighted vision (of some) for the future of our planet and all beings and all the actions against it, I am still full of gratitude, hope, and possibility for the New Year. Here's to finding moments of connection and sharing kindness to everyone, especially those that we don't fully understand. Let our hearts be bridges because our lights shine brighter together.

While there are many things OUT of my control, I am grateful for the ability to make silly greetings like this one and hope that they can bring some cheer.

So Happy Holidays dear ones. Hope you enjoy our little greeting and that it puts a smile on your face.

♥p.s. dearest garden of friends (old, new and reconnected): thank you for all of your support this year. My heart truly felt held by each of you in the hardest of moments. Thank you. Remember, I've always got your back too. :)

Previous greetings:
this might make George Michael roll in his grave
have a holly jolly christmas
a sparkle partner christmas
nature’s glitter
yay christmas!
christmas with lavi

Brendan's favorite holiday song turned into a holiday card!

Let's be real. 2016 had some real shit moments. Don't get me wrong, it had many beautiful and amazing moments too - and these are what I hold on to. But I would be lying if I said I wasn't impacted by events of late (I realize that for some, it may have been a positive year, but you all know my leanings).

What helps: art, friends, laughter, wine, music, cat cuddles, and love. So much love.

With that, I'm sending *you* all lots of love - let it spark your own inner light and let that shine outward and ultimately, reflect back to you. I truly believe that the more we can all do this, the better and brighter this world will be. If nothing else, it would at least be a little kinder. 

Happy holidays! 
♥♥

Previous greetings:
have a holly jolly christmas
a sparkle partner christmas
nature’s glitter
yay christmas!
christmas with lavi

A little holiday greeting, just for you. ❤

Wishing you all a bright, merry, and l♥ve-filled Christmas, Hannukuh, Boxing Day, Kwanzaa, Festivus and whatever else you celebrate!!
Also, Happy Winter Solstice (yay for longer days!!)
Hope you've been enjoying the holiday season - despite this unseasonably warm December!
♥♥
//
Previous greetings:
a sparkle partner christmas
nature’s glitter
yay christmas!
christmas with lavi

A little Christmas card of sorts.

It's been amazing year. I found the love of my life, better known as my "sparkle partner". Before Brendan I never used this term, but the day I met him my heart sparked in a way that was unlike anything I had felt before. I am so thrilled that I've found someone I can share adventures with. I really have never felt so loved, beautiful, and appreciated.

For all of these reasons (and the fact that he's so willing to be playful with me [like in this video!] !!) he is my "sparkle partner".

I hope you all have a wonderful holiday, full of Love and of course, sparkles.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

♥♥

//

We almost missed the train, but I'm so glad we didn't. At midnight we rushed to Penn Station and made it just in time to take the train to Montauk. After a restless sleep (and getting yelled at by a train conductor because apparently we were in the wrong car) we arrived just after 4:00 am. The air was cool, but you could feel the last bits of summer holding on. (One) of my favorite parts is walking to the beach. It's nearly pitch black, but the air is salty and the waves sound intimidatingly enormous. It's incredible just how fast the sky shifts from a sparkle blanket and shooting stars to the best color show you've ever seen. The darkest blues, brightest pinks, deep purples, and deep orange.We snuggled and danced and watched a seagull find a leftover pizza. The rest of the day was full of adventure, as all the days have been since I met my sparkle partner. *

It's never too late to post photos, right? Right.

Hello lovelies,

It is past my bed time, but I am waiting for Santa to arrive....haha...just kidding. Although, I am certainly in the holiday spirit. How could I not be with all of the holiday movies on repeat!? Seriously, I think Elf played three times during our amazing dinner.

I'm currently in Wisconsin where it is the prettiest winter wonderland ever. There is SO. MUCH. SNOW (aka "nature's glitter" per my revelation this morning!) which makes me happy since the past few days of global warming winter in New York have been - quite frankly - freaking. me. out. (okay...given that it's Christmas the b*t*h-fest will stop here)

So.....dear friends, I hope you all have a wonderful (and safe!) holiday filled with friends, family, good food, laughter (!!), pretty lights, funny animals playing in wrapping paper or chasing bows, perhaps an afternoon nap, singing (!) and so many love sparkles you can hardly stand it. More than this, I hope you take a moment to soak it all in. In the midst of opening presents, drinking coffee or mimosas, and singing carols -- STOP whatever you are doing, look around, notice something, and freaking embrace all. of. it. Because THAT moment...is the best present of all of them. No need to instagram or facebook it. Just live it. Merry Christmas/festivus/whatever you celebrate.

Happy day everyone.♥♥
kk

Some photos from Thanksgiving in Iowa. The open roads of Iowa. Something about them always clears my mind. Family Knitting lessons! Morning light from my bedroom window. My uncle's gardening notes - my favorite, " ~ ten onions are missing" [what a lucky rabbit!] One of my best friends from high school. This cross is also a cell phone tower. Desserts from the Motley Cow. My adorable friend Calee and her amazing boyfriend. Aren't they lovely! Driving on Bloomington street in Iowa City! Corn bins need Christmas love too. The main street in my hometown is how I spent my evenings. Wine and typing.** There's lots to write around the topic of home. I have lots. of. thoughts. But I've recognized that you can't really run away from the place where it all starts. 

Well, here we are. At the end and at a new beginning.

Happy New Year!

photo mosaic made with this awesome free download by andrea mosaic original image found here

... to celebrate! Chrisnakwanza, friends moving to NYC, friends leaving NYC, friends finishing semesters, Sandy leaving, Santa's blasted around NYC, birthdays, 2012, and a-n-y-t-h-i-n-g else!it was a success.// thank you all for coming! the rest of the photos are here! 

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The years seem to go faster, don't they?They almost seem like months. Months seem like weeks.Life is just happening. Right now -- as I write this -- life is just happening.People are thinking of clever status updates, people are dancing in the street, they are loving, they are sleeping, they are kissing, they are fighting, they are typing, working, reading, dreaming, thinking and so much more.This life is just here. This life can be complicated - don't be fooled, young children. but I promise pinky promise even - that it's wonderful.it's beautiful.In all it's whirring madness with those days of quiet, days of stillness, days of joy, lazy days, painful days, bored days, whatever they may be...this life is lovely.Especially when you live it.And that is e x a c t l y what I intend to do.Here's to a New Year and what it will bring:more art. more love. more painting. more music. friends. sunshine. pretty things. glitter! learning. listening. being.But you can't start the year without having some nostalgia for the last one...so many fun times with friends. yay! yay! yay! yay!jazz parties with waldo. furry fluffs. making a difference. key west.visiting my favorite georgian peach.learning those same lessons over and over again.family. going home.art **photo mosaic made with this awesome free download by andrea mosaic

You must be decked out in sparkles and look extremely over-the-top.This Christmas I participated in one of the most moving, volunteer experiences ever. I was part of the entertainment for a Christmas Dinner.The event was amazing and I'm already planning a costume for next year.Here are some photos from the day courtesy of Michael McTwigan and Amy Drucker.

 

look a little closer on flickr...Last year, Mary told us to think of a word that encompassed the year, a word that would bring us back to our goal, our resolutions. Truthfully, I'm not sure I had an actual "resolution" - I was just trying to "figure it out" (aren't we all??) but looking back I see that my reminder word ended up being a major reflection of 2010.My reminder word?listenToo often I've brushed past my own ideas and feelings and gotten lost in the ideas of others. Whenever I'm in an "uncomfortable" place, I express my thoughts immediately hoping to find answers to soothe my ache. I catch their words of comfort and put them in my pocket - not daring to let anyone take them away.When really, all I needed to do was listen to myself...My voice. My gut. My intuition. That nagging feeling of "knowing" has always been strong, but this year I finally let it guide me. In listening to myself I found honesty and started doing things for myself, things that really made me happy.Who knew that finding happiness could be so simple? Just by listening to yourself?I realize this sounds very cliche ~ but if you think about it, "answers" (getting it, life, figuring it out) are quite simple. Although what works for me, may not be what works for others. I get that.In reviewing my photos from the past year, I realized that I was happy. Maybe the happiest I've been since moving to this city. That's exciting and wonderful. Of course I'm scared that this elation will go away for I cannot predict what is going to happen in the future, but I've learned that I can control how I react to my often-oh-so-turbulent-over-reactive-dramatic-emotions and this is a good start to more happy (hopefully) years to come. And it all started with listening to my inner voice.As far as my word for 2011 - that's still to be decided.**Last year I was happy to say good riddance to 2009 - it was a rough year -- but 2010 -- I'm a little sad to see you go!We've had a great year~Getting my camera |:.. making fun valentines |:.. having my childhood best friend visit me and watching him get married |:. visiting mary and georgia in oklahoma |:.. a great birthday |:. being part of a fairy tale wedding and seeing all of my girlies from college including a summer visit from katy |:. many lazy days at the beach |:. midnight train to montauk |:. new york cares day 2010 |:. late night pie making with friends |:. key west |:. dancing pumpkins |:. the open roads of iowa and especially seeing katie mary |:. lots of music and art |:. and making a difference |:. and of course loveAll that said, I'm really excited about this year. I already have things to look forward to:

• a painting class at FIT
• moving in with HT
• i plan to travel more ~ maybe i'll visit some of my faraway friends - or more warm places
• volunteering
• spring flowers
• lazy beach days
• and so much more...

So folks ~ here's to the New Year, resolutions, and happiness.HAPPY NEW YEAR!photo mosaic made with this awesome free download by andrea mosaic

It's been snowing for several hours straight...but I have been having a lot of fun in this NYC snow globe and decided to spread some holiday love...Whether you are in Iowa, Germany, Georgia, Wisconsin, Oklahoma, Kansas City, Atlanta, Ohio, LA, Chicago, or wherever else you may be.... know that there's lots of love....coming from NYC!May the rest of your year be filled with bright colors!Surprises!Fun!Smiles!And New Year's wishes!xoxop.s. these kitties enjoyed this photo shoot way too much! :)p.p.s. this is a wonderful song by beirut